I’ve served in a senior pastor role over 20 years and each year I’ve preached an annual vision sermon.

As I look back, though, I wonder how much Kingdom difference those sermons really made.

Pastors from large mega-churches that I’ve followed from afar encourage us to bring an annual  message. As a result, I’ve prioritized it as a necessary leadership tour do force upon which I thought the health, vitality, and future of my church depended. I had engrained into my leadership DNA that a vision message must include content (the what), the motivation (the why), and the inspiration (the impetus for everybody in the church to be moved to take on hell with a water pistol after listening to me for 30 minutes).

The kinds of vision messages I’ve brought have included these general themes.

• the I just got back from this great pastors’ conference and this is what we will do next year
• the I just read a great book on church growth and this is what we will do next year
• the I have no clue about what next year holds but I have to bring a vision message or else I’m not a good pastor
• the I have to fire up the church with this message because, well, we need firing up
• the I’ve come from a Mt. Sinai planning retreat and here is what God told me we’re to do next year
• and as I’ve gotten more mature the I humbly bring this before you as a word from God

The responses to my annual vision sermon have included…

• 100 people leaving the church the following year (after I attended Willow for the first time and decided we would be the Willow Creek of Atlanta; I’m not dissing Willow, I was simply too filled with myself when I brought that vision sermon)
• a phone call from a leader saying he was not motivated at all
• usually lower attendance on those days
• (more…)

Every pastor faces it.

Most hate it.

You can’t avoid it. … people leaving your church

In my over 20 years as a senior pastor (and a another 10 as an associate), for various reasons I’ve probably seen hundreds of people leave the churches where I served. In one year over 100 people left the church I planted after I gave my infamous “Willow Creek” talk. I had just attended one of Willow’s early conference and within two weeks I delivered a message about all the changes we planned to make. It didn’t work. In my immaturity I had failed to wisely manage change.

Except for those blessed subtractions (those who leave who have hurt your church), unless you are an emotionless robot, when someone leaves it hurts.

Here’s how I’ve tried to process my painful emotions when people leave.

1. I don’t disparage them to others after they leave.
2. I reach out to those who had significant roles in the church. Often I will meet with them.
3. I NEVER burn bridges. I wish them well and pray for them in person if possible.
4. I don’t try to hide their leaving from other leaders, and neither do I broadcast it.
5. Recently we’ve attempted informal exit interviews to discover why leavers left and if there’s anything we can learn.
6. When I see them again, I reach out and show genuine interest in how they’re doing.
7. I don’t let myself become bitter. God has graciously given me short memories about hurtful church experiences. It’s all His grace.
8. I remind myself that Jesus also faced those who left Him. From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. (John 6.66)

How do you process church leavers?

Related posts: When Pastors become Defensive…5 Things NOT to Do.

Kevin Cashman wrote a great book every leader should read, Leadership from the Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life. Essentially he challenges leaders to lead from character (the inside). If you’ve not read it, I highly recommend it.

In an early chapter he lists several questions that can help clarify where our leadership strengths lie. I’ve adapted his questions into five below. Read these questions slowly and reflectively.

1. What would your dearest friend say in moment of deep admiration of you?
2. When you feel energized and fully alive, what strengths and traits do you exercise?
3. What circumstances bring out your strongest character traits?
4. What experiences in your life have caused you to feel most completely yourself?
5. If you witnessed your funeral, what do you hope people would say about your life?

When we discover, develop, and deploy our strengths and gifts, we maximize our Kingdom impact and experience the greatest joy.

Are you leading from the inside out?

Related post: Guilt Producing Questions Pastors Secretly Ask Themselves

I’m convinced God gave me a ‘Geek’ gene.

From my monopoly on science fair first prizes in high school to my toy tank that fires bb’s to my radio-controlled helicopter that shoots plastic missiles, I love any gadget that runs on electricity. I’m also among an elite 50,000 who bought the very first Macintosh in 1984. I sold a life insurance policy and used the cash value to pay for it. Since then I’ve owned over 20 different Macs and I now sport a brand new MacBook Air. I also use an iPhone 4 and an iPad.

Like I said, God gave me a geek gene.

At the same time Mac blood has flowed through my veins, God infused into my bones a passion to teach God’s Word. I’ve preached over a thousands sermons and I’ve seen my preaching evolve over the years in this progression.

1. write sermon notes in the margin of a wide column bible (my eyes can’t see teeny-tiny print now )
2. type out the sermon on one half-page and insert into my bible
3. type up the full text and insert small pages into the bible so that it looks like I’m not using notes
4. print out the full text and place the full sized pages on the lectern
5. Preach from an iPad

I love using the iPad now. It took a few weeks to getting used to it, but I don’t think I will ever change. I see three advantages in using an iPad.

1. Easily mark up and highlight on the fly
2. Keep all your sermons in one place
3. You look really cool, especially when the house and stage lights are off…it casts a holy glow on your face

Here’s how I now prepare my sermons and get them to the iPad.

1. I write my sermons on my Mac with Word. Accordance (easy to use and trusty) and Logos (quite expansive yet rather slow and cumbersome at times) are my primary study tools. Note: My iPad still has not replaced my laptop and I don’t expect it to.
2. I save my Word doc as a PDF file
3. I drop the PDF into Dropbox (a free app that allows you to easily move a pc file to the iPad via shared wi-fi)
4. I open up the PDF in Dropbox and then open it in Noterize ($2.99). Many PDF markup programs exist. This one tends to be a bit slow in turning the pages, but thus far it works best for me. I would love to use Apple’s Pages program, but at this point they don’t offer highlighting options.
5. I then mark up, highlight, and make changes as needed. Our service production team always has a paper copy available in case my iPad goes down.

Here’s a screen shot of what an iPad page looks like.

If you are an iPad user, what apps do you use for preaching? Any tricks you’ve learned?

Related posts:

• How an iPad improved my devotional life
• How Pastors can benefit from an iPad

In entry last year, I wrote about how many pastors suffer with relational anorexia. Pastors can find a cure for this devastating issue when we seek out and find people with whom we can process the pain ministry inevitably brings.

As you consider the traits you’d look for in a safe person, consider these Scriptures and the guidelines they infer, because these people are often difficult to spot.

When Samuel went to look for Saul’s replacement, God told him, Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. GOD judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; GOD looks into the heart.[1]

Outward impressions may belie the heart of a potential safe person, so don’t let a poor first impression turn you off. When David looked for those with whom he’d surround himself, he wrote,  I have my eye on salt-of-the-earth people—they’re the ones I want working with me; Men and women on the straight and narrow—these are the ones I want at my side.[2]

Character and integrity took front and center when he chose his advisors and leaders. He also said, Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they reprove me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.[3]

David looked for those with the courage to tell him what he needed to hear, not what he wanted to hear. Daniel Goleman (most known for writing on emotional intelligence) wisely notes,

People deprive their co-workers—whether bosses or subordinates—of honest performance feedback for several reasons, chief of which is that it can be uncomfortable to give such feedback. We’re afraid of hurting others’ feelings or otherwise upsetting them. Yet, while we tend to keep the truth about how others are actually doing to ourselves (oddly, not just the negatives, but also the positives), all of us generally crave that kind of appraisal. Candid evaluations matter deeply, in a way that other information does not.[4]

When Paul taught about rights and privileges he said “knowledge makes us proud of ourselves, while love makes us helpful to others.”[5] Someone with all the right replies may not be who you need. Actually, we need those who will ask us the right questions more than those who want to give us answers.

~~~~~

Below I’ve listed several qualities to look for in a safe person. Only perfection, however, will embody them all, so don’t expect to find someone who meets all the criteria. A safe person, however, should evidence many of these.

•        Not a cliché giver, doesn’t over-spiritualize

•        Asks good questions, effectively reflects back what he hears you say, and seeks to understand

•        Believes in you

•        Consistent, a promise keeper

•        Trustworthy, can keep secrets

•        Not afraid of your anger, tears, or other emotions

•        Has his own scars yet doesn’t wallow in his pain; empathetic

•        Around him you don’t feel like a child with a parent but feel you are equals

•        Will genuinely pray for and with you

•        Not critical or judgmental

•        Approachable, vulnerable, humble

•        Wise and discerning

•        Can and will challenge you to get outside your comfort zone

•        Around him (or her if you are a women) you feel comfortable; he’ll let you be on the outside who you are on the inside

•        Won’t try to make you someone you’re not; appreciates the real you

•        Likeable to be around (I can’t overemphasize this)

•        Strong commitment to Christ, helps your commitment to Christ deepen

•        Willing to confront with love and grace, doesn’t flatter

•        Helps you become a better person

•        Doesn’t have a lot of expectations of you

To boil it down, a safe person is one who truly will listen, occasionally offer advice, and consistently will support and strengthen you.

Pastor, I encourage you to find a safe person in your life, sooner than later.

[2] Psalm 101:6, The Message

[3] Psalm 141:5, NLT

[4] Daniel Goleman, 94. Primal Leadership

[5] 1 Corinthians 8:1, CEV

I want to give you the latest update on Tiffany so u can pray.

Monday she had her staples removed from her head. Pretty non-eventful until Tuesday when fluid began to leak out of some of the staple holes. The neurosurgeon asked us to come in and ascertained that the incision was leaking spinal fluid. He then put 2 more staples into her head with no pain killer-yes, imagine a staple gun put on your head and getting 2 staples shot in-that’s it in a nutshell what he did.

We drove home and when we got home leakage began at two other places. The neurosurgeon told us to go to ER so off we went. They admitted her last nite (tues) and I got her settled in at ab 1 am. I stayed in a hotel nearby for a long nap. Today she had a 2-fold procedure: reopening the incision and resutchering it and putting a small tube in tiffany’s back to drain spinal fluid.

Here’s the issue. After so many surgeries, tissue does not heal as tightly, thus spinal/brain fluid can leak. They are hoping that within 3 days on this spinal shunt the newly tightened incision will have time to heal tightly. So, 3-5 more days in the hospital-tiff is in great pain tonight (we’d nite). sherryl and I will alternate soening the nite to help her.

If this does not work, another brain surgery to put a shunt in her brain.

Here’s how we need prayer: pray that her body’s healing properties will be strong enough for this incision tightening to “seal the crack in the dam.”

Thx
Charles

Sent from my iPad

Charles Stone | Senior Pastor
Ginger Creek Community Church | gingercreek.org
www.charlesstone.com | Blog: http://charlesstone.com/blog

This is a brief excerpt from my current book, 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them-help for frustrated pastors.

Sometime in your ministry, someone  probably has taken an intentional punch at you. I don’t mean they punched you in the face, but they’ve likely taken a swipe at your leadership, preaching, or vision. It hurts. I believe the higher we go in leadership, the more punches we’ll have to absorb. Abraham Lincoln, arguably our country’s greatest president, took many punches, and his words carry a timely message for us.

If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how—the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what’s said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.

I might add to this thought what a close friend once told me. “Even when church problems aren’t your fault, take the high road of grace and integrity as you respond to them.”

Related posts: When Pastors become Defensive, 5 Things NOT to do

In a recent post, Strategic Planning for Dummies, I suggested a simple visual that can simply explain strategic planning.

I’ve used the tool below with that visual to help actually implement ministry plans. I hope it helps you.

Ministry Event Plan tool for blog

A very successful businessman inadvertently taught me a lesson about paying attention to other people’s needs … with macaroni and cheese.

Recently I ate breakfast at my favorite diner with one of our church’s key leaders. He owns a flourishing business and gives quite generously to our church. As I enjoyed the blue plate special of eggs, pancakes, and Canadian bacon, I asked him how business was faring. He described one recent experience with a potential client that brought a smile to my face and a fresh reminder that I must pay closer attention to other people’s stories.

He had scheduled a lunch with a local company CEO and remarked that she ordered only salad and mac & cheese. I thought that a bit odd, as did he until he said, “She explained that her favorite food was mac & cheese.”

He then described a second luncheon with this CEO at this office he had scheduled for the next Monday.

The menu that day? Mac & cheese from six different restaurants.

From a business perspective, he ordered this novel lunch menu hoping to make a good impression on a client that might garner more business. But I thought to myself, What a creative and thoughtful way to touch a person’s life.

His kind gesture may not bring new business, but I’m convinced that this CEO will never forget his thoughtfulness. My friend simply paid attention to someone else’s unique interests.

As I drove back to the office after that breakfast and mulled over this mac & cheese luncheon, God impressed these thoughts on me.

• Do I pay close enough attention to the leaders, friends, and spiritual seekers in my life to discover their unique interests?
• Do I consider those  interests as invitations from God upon which I could capitalize and in doing so become Jesus’ hands and feet?

I don’t think I will ever see mac & cheese in the same way again.

A question for you: How have you met other people’s practical needs after discovering something unique about him or her?

Donald Whitney, a pastor and seminary professor, gave me permission to re-print this article. It is outstanding.

Once, when the people of God had become careless in their relationship with Him, the Lord rebuked them through the prophet Haggai. “Consider your ways!” (Haggai 1:5) he declared, urging them to reflect on some of the things happening to them, and to evaluate their slipshod spirituality in light of what God had told them.

Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It’s so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we’re going and where we should be going.

The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to stop, look up, and get our bearings. To that end, here are some questions to ask prayerfully in the presence of God.

1. What’s one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

2. What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

8. What’s the most important way you will, by God’s grace, try to make this year different from last year?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?

Related posts: Making the Most of the Next 10 Years: a simple self-evaluation.

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