Every January millions make new year's resolutions. The top ones include losing weight, quit smoking, use money more wisely, and spend more time with friends. Unfortunately, 50% never keep their resolution for more than 6 months and only 10% make it through the year.

So, should we avoid setting resolutions (goals) for the new year because we might fail? I don't think so. As the new year begins, it is a great time to evaluate your life and look ahead.

Consider these 6 tips to help you keep your resolutions.

1. Specifically state what you want to do (ie, read through the bible in a year).
2. Really want it. Is it in your gut? Have you decided that you just can’t continue down the same path any longer? Are you really serious?
3. Believe God wants it for you. He wants you to move forward in your faith and in your life. He is one your side. He is on your team. 2 Peter 1.3 tells us, By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. (NLT)
4. Put real effort into keeping your resolution/goal. God wants you to partner with him and put your heart into God prompted resolutions. New birth does not rule out human activity. 2 Peter 1.5 says, ... make every effort to respond to God’s promises. (NLT)
5. Break down your goal into small, bite-sized pieces.
6. Enlist help. Ask a  trusted friend to periodically check on your progress.

If you apply these simple steps, keeping a new year's resolution won't seem so daunting.

Related posts:

• Making the Most of the Next 10 Years: a simple self evaluation
• Strategic Planning for Dummies
• Strategic Planning for Dummies, part 2

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 Phil. 2.12  Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed — not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence — continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,  13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

"Do the Best You Can and Leave the Results to God"

That phrase may seem a bit worn, but it’s well worth heeding. In Christ’s parable of the talents, the master, representing God, gave responsibility to the servants, us, based on individual ability.[1] The story implies us that some pastors have greater competencies than others. Similarly, Paul teaches that the Holy Spirit gives out gifts as He sees fit.[2] It’s obvious that the Spirit gives some pastors extra preaching or leading gifts, evidenced in the size and impact of their ministries.

It’s easy to become discouraged when we do our best yet don’t see our church grow like others to which we may compare ourselves. When we wrap our identities around numerical results and the numbers don’t increase, the discouragement can overwhelm. This is especially true for older pastors who realize they may never achieve the dreams they had for ministry.

David Goetz wrote,

I often sat in the studies of both small-church pastors and mega-church pastors, listening to their stories, their hopes, their plans for significance. I deduced, albeit unscientifically, that often clergymen in midlife had worse crises of limits than did other professionals. Religious professionals went into the ministry for the significance, to make an impact, called by God to make a difference with their lives. But when you’re fifty-three and serving a congregation of 250, you know, finally, you’ll never achieve the large-church immortality symbol, the glory that was promised to you. That can be a dark moment—or a dark couple of years.[3]

However, noted theologian Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers fame recalled an experience he had when attending seminary. He wanted to hear a variety of preachers, so for a time each Sunday he visited different churches. One week he experienced “the most poorly crafted sermon [he] had ever heard.” A friend had accompanied him and when he turned to her, he found her in tears. She said, “It was exactly what I needed to hear.”

Rogers then told his audience, “That's when I realized that the space between someone doing the best he or she can and someone in need is holy ground. The Holy Spirit had transformed that feeble sermon for her—and as it turned out, for me too.”[4] Although the results from our best efforts may look feeble to some, they can touch a heart and change a life when we least expect it. This side of heaven we will never know the people we impacted through our faithful service.

-excerpted from my book, 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them

This week I'm posting a series of blogs about how pastors respond when people in their church compare their leadership and preaching to others or when they brag about another church by insinuating that we don't measure up

Yesterday I posted 5 ways we should respond when we feel compared to others more 'successful' than us.

Today, we're looking at really bad ways to react when someone in your church compares you to others. I've listed five unhealthy reactions here.

1. Find something about the other 'guy' to criticize, like, "We'll, I've heard he's a real jerk when he's one-on-one with other people."
2. Tell the other person that maybe they need to start attending that church.
3. With a sarcastic tone tell that person, "Thanks, I really needed that!"
4. In your mind, beat yourself up about what a failure you are.
5. Go home and overeat, take your anger out on your spouse and kids, or look at pornography.

Yesterday I began a series of blogs to unpack this issue: what should pastors do when people in our churches compare us to other more "successful" pastors.

In that blog, I shared an email a pastor received from someone in his church who boasted about another super-successful pastor and his church. He was tempted to respond with sarcasm.

I don't recommend sarcasm.

So, how should we respond when we feel compared to others?

Here are my thoughts.

1. Recognize that comparison comes with the territory. As the old adage goes, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."
2. Ask yourself when you feel compared, "Is God trying to teach me something?"...about my confidence in where God has me...about what I can learn from this other pastors...about how I receive unpleasant messages.
3. Respond with a gracious spirit to the person who compares.
4. Don't read in ill motives. Perhaps someone in your church simply wanted to share how God used another spiritual leader in his or her life.
5. Thank God for blessing the other pastor.

Many pastors secretly struggle with measuring up to the very successful. One pastor I know who has grappled with comparison received this e-mail from someone in his church. The names are changed to protect the innocent :)

Hi Pastor Jim:

Sharon S. here. How are you? I have been meaning to send you a note for quite some time and tell you about a pastor in California that I thought you might be interested in. Yeah, I know. If I were you I'd be rolling my eyes about now. But I must say, this guy is awesome and has challenged me personally in my life over the last year.

He has pastored [God’s Favorite] Church just outside [Utopia] for about three years and has grown it from 150 people to over 3,500. I have never seen a young guy with such a passion and a heart for God, willing to go against the “appropriate” evangelical grain and just teach the scriptures.

He just started a new series a week and a half ago. I am going to attach the first message because I would love for you to listen to him.  I can't tell you how many people I know listen now. His name is [Gabriel, the archangel]. He has some of the best teaching I have ever heard on leadership in the church, justification, and some other tough subjects. He is a lot like [another famous pastor], who is his friend and a “fan” of his. Anyway, I have felt led to connect you with [Gabriel] for a long time. I'm not really sure why. Take it for whatever it is worth. 

Sharon

“Jim” emailed this response back.

Dear Sharon,

Thanks for reminding me that my preaching stinks. It’s great to know that people in my church are making sure they get podcasts from somebody who will never know their name or answer their encouraging emails.

You’ve really made my day. I was studying for this week’s message when I got your note (I’ve already spent twenty hours on my sermon). I immediately stopped to download his magnificent sermon. It’s also wonderful to know that his church has exploded in growth; as you know, our attendance declined by 3% last year because people like you stayed home to watch guys like him on TV!

Gotta go finish my shallow sermon.

God’s blessings on you,

Pastor Jim

“Jim” didn’t really send this e-mail—he only wished he had. Have you ever felt that way when someone compared you to another?

Although we pastors often struggle when we compare ourselves to others, it really stings when those in our church compare us to others more 'successful.'

This week I'm beginning a blog series on this issue, when church people compare their pastors to mega-successful pastors.

I hope you will join the conversation.

What's your story? Have people in your church ever compared you to others?

Related post: The Curse of Comparison

Never say NO.

Please everybody.

Don't take a vacation.

Strategize first, pray later.

Act like you have it all together.

Try to figure out what others are saying about you.

Secretly criticize churches that are growing faster than yours.

Try to make each service bigger and better than the previous week's service.

Immediately implement the techniques you just learned from a church growth conference.

Disregard, marginalize, or forget the 9 ways above.

Related posts: The Litmus Test for Success? Always up and the the Right?

What defines ministry success? How do you know if your ministry or church is really successful?

I've served five churches, three in associate leadership positions and two as the senior pastor. In my first senior pastor position I started a church in a suburb of Atlanta. I envisioned myself as the south's Rick Warren, a future mega-church pastor what would soon lead his own church growth conferences. 51 attended our first service. I was so successful that in six months I was able to bring that number down to 17, which included five members of my own family.

I was devastated. I didn't quit though and after 14 years our church grew to about 500, certainly not a candidate for Outreach Magazine's fastest growing churches.

For probably three quarters of my 30 years in ministry, Monday would be the best day of the week or the worst day. It depended on the attendance report. Good attendance and I felt valued. Low attendance (or attendance less than the previous year's) and my day didn't go so well

Now, 24 years after that heart crushing day when only 17 showed up at my church, I believe God is finally freeing me from the "success in numbers" mentality.

But, we still live in a culture that determines success if the numbers are up and to the right.

As I've dialogued with lay leaders in the churches I've served, I've often felt a not-so-subltle message that our church was doing poorly if the attendance and giving were not significantly up and to the right. I've discovered that often businessmen who have experienced success in their vocations (ie, their numbers went up and to the right) bring that same expectation into the church.

Unfortunately, this view often overshadows other very important ministry success measures such as spiritual health and the percentage of people who serve.

• Have you experienced this pressure from your leaders?
• If so, how have you managed it?

I'd love to hear from you.

Related post: 5 Reasons Churches Should often Celebrate Wins