We’re teaching a series on spiritual gifts at our church. You can listen to the podcasts here if you’d like. As a pastor, the more people discover, develop, and deploy their gifts, the healthier the church becomes.  Here are 6 tips I suggest to others to help them discover their gifts.

1. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy doing/what do I do well?”

A good indicator of where a person’s giftedness lies may be found in activities that give us joy and satisfaction and interests us. Encourage others to get in touch with spheres of service that produce a flow of inner joy, excitement and energy. Helping others find what God made them for produces great joy.

2. As yourself, “If I could I would…”

If I could do ______ and time and money were no issue, what would I do?  If i knew I couldn’t fail what would I do to make a difference?  If I could I would address what concerns, area of peoples’ lives, or areas in the church to make things better or improve things?

3. Pray.

What do you sense in your heart is your gift? Where do you get a sense of peace? (more…)

I’ve served as a pastor for over 30 years in churches as small as 4 1/2 (my wife, two pre-schoolers, and one on the way) to churches that approached 2,000 attenders. The locations have included the far west, the midwest, the south, and the southwest.

A sampling of responses to the question, “How well do you think Charles did?” would include…

• He was great. I’m sad he moved.
• I’m glad he left.
• His preaching really inspired me.
• I just wasn’t getting fed.
• He really cared about people.
• He was distant and unavailable.
• He had great leadership skills.
• He’s no John Maxwell.

If you’ve served in ministry for any time, you’ve probably asked yourself this question, “How well am I really doing?” If you’ve not asked that exact question, I’m sure you’ve secretly asked yourself some pretty probing ones that made you feel guilty.

I’m beginning a blog series on Guilt-producing questions pastors secretly ask themselves and I’d like your help. I’ve listed a few questions below that those in ministry probably ask. What do you think? What would you add to this list?

1. Why do I sometimes want to skip church on Sundays?
2. Am I spending enough time preparing my sermons?
3. Why do people really leave my church?
4. I love my wife deeply. But if I think another woman is attractive, am I crazy? Or worse, am I sinning?
5. Why do I feel like I don’t measure up to the expectations of … the board, my staff, my spouse or …? Is it their problem or mine?
6. Am I spending enough time with my family?
7. Do I pray enough?
8. Does owning nice things like a nice house or a new car or enjoying things like a fancy vacation diminish my example? Is it wrong to have or experience what others in my church have?
9. Why do I often feel anger inside toward people?
10. ????

What guilt producing questions do you think pastors secretly ask themselves? I’d love to hear from you as I begin this blog series.

Each November I bring an annual “vision” message to explain the big picture for the coming year and hopefully motivate buy-in.

Related posts: Strategic Planning for Dummies

In my research for my latest book, 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them, I discovered that pastors are often the loneliest people in the church, second perhaps only to their wives.

I interviewed Dr. Michael Ross, Executive Director of The Pastors Institute, who has worked with several thousand pastors in various capacities. He told me that the number one problem pastors face is isolation.

Gary Kinnaman author and former mega-church pastor and Alfred Ellis, author and founder-director of Leaders that Last, an organization for ministers, wrote, “Most people in full-time ministry do not have close personal friendships and consequently are alarmingly lonely and dangerously vulnerable.”[1]

Well known author, Steve Arterburn has observed that “the men in the church who are least likely to have friend connections are pastors.”[2]

Focus on the Family discovered that nearly 42% do not have any accountability partner with whom they meet.[3]

And the Alban Institute, an ecumenical organization that serves thousands of congregations through research and publishing, has learned that pastors tend to seek help from others only when they are in crisis, “rather than allowing these resources to sustain and nourish them consistently.”[4]

In other words, we don’t seek out safe people to help us process ongoing ministry issues until they escalate into major crises. Even then, many pastors suffer alone. (more…)

Kevin Cashman wrote the book Leadership from the Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life. I highly recommend it. I’m reading it for a second time.

In one chapter he writes about managing change in an organization. His change mastery  shifts below apply to church leadership as well.

1. Focus on Opportunities vs. Problems
2. Focus on Long Term vs Short Term (don’t lost sight of your long-term vision in the midst of change)
3. Focus on Purpose vs. Circumstance (keep focused on your and your church’s purpose and values to avoid being mired in difficult circumstances)
4. Focus on Adaptability vs Control (control will only yield a certain degree of results; good leaders must remain agile, flexible, and innovative to sustain results over the long haul)
5. Focus on Service vs. Self (serve your leaders during the stress of change)
6. Focus on Listening vs. Expertise (effective leaders stay open and practice authentic listening to stay connected to others and to remain open to other innovative solutions)

Other related posts:

• Etch-a-sketch Church Planning

For more Help and Resources for Discouraged Pastors, visit Pastor Stone’s main site.

In the book First, Break all the Rules, by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman, they list 12 core questions Gallup discovered that, when asked, give organizations the information they need to attract, focus, and keep the most talented employees.

Pastors and church leaders would do well to regularly ask their employees to answer them.

Peter Drucker, often called the father of modern management, was also a committed Christian. I’ve read several of his books on leadership that have helped me become a better leader and pastor.

Jim Collins recently spoke at Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit. At that conference he told us that after Drucker died, he spoke at an event in his honor and had the opportunity to step into his office. On one bookshelf someone had arranged his 35 books in the order in which he wrote them. Jim remarked that when he put his finger on the book he wrote at age 65, 2/3′s of the books were still to the right, written after he turned 65. Old age never slowed him down. Rather, his age seemed to spur him to even greater productivity.

These four statements Drucker made about great leaders have never left me.

1. Great leaders had followers
2. Great leaders got results–they did the right things and didn’t worry about popularity
3. Great leaders knew that leadership was responsibility, not rank, privileges or titles
4. Great leaders set good examples

Church leaders would do well to heed his wise words.

Related posts:

• Seven Leadership Learnings from Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit
• What Snorkeling Taught me about Selecting Leaders

For more Help and Resources for Pastors, visit Pastor Stone’s main site.

My wife and I just returned from a conference in Bogota, Colombia where we taught pastors and their wives. We were privileged to serve with Juan Carlos Flores Zúñiga and his wife Orietta who arranged the conference through his organization. Lance Witt and his wife Connie were also on the teaching team. He served as the executive pastor at Saddleback for several years and now leads his own ministry. Vicente Castillo, a pastor from Mexico also taught.

We served over 75 pastors and their spouses and it was a humbling experience. These gracious people reminded me of 4 crucial leadership principles.

1. Leaders who grow must must cultivate a hunger to keep growing. I was amazed at how these pastors took prodigious notes as I spoke. Their desire to learn was palpable.
2. Godly leaders embody an attitude of gratitude. Although all the pastors showed appreciation, one brought tears to my eyes. He said many years ago an American missionary gave him a small new testament. That small bible became instrumental in his conversion. He said with great joy, “God bless America.” He viewed America as a tool in God’s hand to point him to Jesus.
3. The best leaders never stop sacrificing for the greater cause of the Kingdom. I learned that many of these pastors left good paying jobs as engineers, business executives, and other professional vocations to serve Christ full-time. Unfortunately, in America we are tempted to settle into a comfortable life-style in ministry and forget Jesus’ call to continual sacrifice.
4. God uses leaders who show child-like faith. I sat in a restaurant and listened to a pastor’s wife tell story after story how God had miraculously provided for them. She described God’s work with such freshness and enthusiasm that the Lord convicted me of my sometimes lack of this kind of faith.

Leaders must constantly remind themselves that these four principles really matter to God. And, He uses the most unlikely people and places to remind us, as He did for me.

For more Help and Resources for Pastors, visit Pastor Stone’s main site.

I commissioned Barna Research, Lifeway Research, and Christianity Today to survey almost 2,000 pastors to discover what issues can cause a ministry or a leader’s passion for ministry to die. I based my latest book on those findings. You can download a free chapter of the book here.

It would do us well to heed Socrates wise advice when he wrote, “Know thyself.”

For more Help and Resources to overcome Pastoral Burnout, visit Pastor Stone’s main site.

I’ve been in full-time vocational ministry nearly 30 years and used to  think that the most important use of my time was preaching the message. I still believe that, especially for the masses, but perhaps the second most important time is what I do right before the service and right after the service.

I call it the “ministry of presence.” My high visibility as I chat with people, shake their hands, and give them a listening ear provides a tiny “one-on-one” window into their hearts. I believe those brief interactions often affect them more than the sermon itself.

Here are four simple choices to maximize that time.

1. Look for the “deer-in-the-headlights” look. This look often telegraphs new people. I look at peoples’ eyes and I can usually catch their “I’m new here and have no idea what to do or where to go.” I will introduce myself and try to make them feel that I really care. A touch like that from a pastor can make a profound impact on a new person.
2. Seek out those in wheelchairs, those with canes, or those with other physical or mental challenges. One guy, Robin, comes to our service in a motorized wheelchair. A mobile ventilator attached to his wheelchair keeps him alive. Another boy, Nicholas, is confined to his wheelchair. He is twelve. One older teen walks with a bent body and slurs her words when she talks. I don’t let a service go by without talking, touching, and affirming them.
3. Give your full attention to people when you do talk to them. Avoid the, “talking to one person while you are getting ready to talk to the next person” persona. People quickly sense half-hearted listeners.
4. Finally, steer clear of the monopolizers. This may sound harsh, but some people will take your entire time before and after a service as they talk about themselves or some problem. I will often walk up a different aisle so as to avoid getting cornered by a monopolizer.

These simple practices have made many powerful spiritual deposits in others as I offer them my “ministry of presence.”

Try out these ideas this month and see if you, too, feel God’s pleasure.

Related posts:

• What a guy on a ventilator taught me
• What a dying man taught me

For more Help and Resources for Pastors, visit Pastor Stone’s main site.