Pastors face a common vocational hazard, getting pigeonholed. Labeling is another term to describe this ministry hazard.

It goes something like this. You make a statement in conversation with somebody or in a sermon, you do something as a leader, or you communicate your intentions about an issue. Or you intentionally or unintentionally make known your unique ministry rhythms or daily routine (ie, study in the morning rather than take counseling appointments or take off Mondays and turn off your cell phone so you can take a break from ministry demands). Continue Reading…

This week I’m posting a series of blogs about how pastors respond when people in their church compare their leadership and preaching to others or when they brag about another church by insinuating that we don’t measure up

Yesterday I posted 5 ways we should respond when we feel compared to others more ‘successful’ than us.

Today, we’re looking at really bad ways to react when someone in your church compares you to others. I’ve listed five unhealthy reactions here.

1. Find something about the other ‘guy’ to criticize, like, “We’ll, I’ve heard he’s a real jerk when he’s one-on-one with other people.”
2. Tell the other person that maybe they need to start attending that church.
3. With a sarcastic tone tell that person, “Thanks, I really needed that!”
4. In your mind, beat yourself up about what a failure you are.
5. Go home and overeat, take your anger out on your spouse and kids, or look at pornography.

Yesterday I began a series of blogs to unpack this issue: what should pastors do when people in our churches compare us to other more “successful” pastors.

In that blog, I shared an email a pastor received from someone in his church who boasted about another super-successful pastor and his church. He was tempted to respond with sarcasm.

I don’t recommend sarcasm.

So, how should we respond when we feel compared to others?

Here are my thoughts.

1. Recognize that comparison comes with the territory. As the old adage goes, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
2. Ask yourself when you feel compared, “Is God trying to teach me something?”…about my confidence in where God has me…about what I can learn from this other pastors…about how I receive unpleasant messages.
3. Respond with a gracious spirit to the person who compares.
4. Don’t read in ill motives. Perhaps someone in your church simply wanted to share how God used another spiritual leader in his or her life.
5. Thank God for blessing the other pastor.

Many pastors secretly struggle with measuring up to the very successful. One pastor I know who has grappled with comparison received this e-mail from someone in his church. The names are changed to protect the innocent

Hi Pastor Jim:

Sharon S. here. How are you? I have been meaning to send you a note for quite some time and tell you about a pastor in California that I thought you might be interested in. Yeah, I know. If I were you I’d be rolling my eyes about now. But I must say, this guy is awesome and has challenged me personally in my life over the last year.

He has pastored [God’s Favorite] Church just outside [Utopia] for about three years and has grown it from 150 people to over 3,500. I have never seen a young guy with such a passion and a heart for God, willing to go against the “appropriate” evangelical grain and just teach the scriptures.

He just started a new series a week and a half ago. I am going to attach the first message because I would love for you to listen to him.  I can’t tell you how many people I know listen now. His name is [Gabriel, the archangel]. He has some of the best teaching I have ever heard on leadership in the church, justification, and some other tough subjects. He is a lot like [another famous pastor], who is his friend and a “fan” of his. Anyway, I have felt led to connect you with [Gabriel] for a long time. I’m not really sure why. Take it for whatever it is worth. 

Sharon

“Jim” emailed this response back.

Dear Sharon,

Thanks for reminding me that my preaching stinks. It’s great to know that people in my church are making sure they get podcasts from somebody who will never know their name or answer their encouraging emails.

You’ve really made my day. I was studying for this week’s message when I got your note (I’ve already spent twenty hours on my sermon). I immediately stopped to download his magnificent sermon. It’s also wonderful to know that his church has exploded in growth; as you know, our attendance declined by 3% last year because people like you stayed home to watch guys like him on TV!

Gotta go finish my shallow sermon.

God’s blessings on you,

Pastor Jim

“Jim” didn’t really send this e-mail—he only wished he had. Have you ever felt that way when someone compared you to another?

Although we pastors often struggle when we compare ourselves to others, it really stings when those in our church compare us to others more ‘successful.’

This week I’m beginning a blog series on this issue, when church people compare their pastors to mega-successful pastors.

I hope you will join the conversation.

What’s your story? Have people in your church ever compared you to others?

Related post: The Curse of Comparison

I’ve hired several pastors and admin staff in my ministry of 30 plus years and I’ve made some great choices and some not so great ones as well.

These mistakes have contributed to my poor selections.

1. Not pursuing the yellow flags that nagged at the back of my mind.
2. Refusing to REALLY ask other key influencers what they REALLY thought.
3. Thinking I could fix the hire’s glaring deficiencies over time.
4. Rushing the process.
5. Letting my emotional attachment to the potential hire overshadow thoughtful reflection.
6. Being too nice in the process (that doesn’t mean that I didn’t treat the potential hires with respect).
7. Not praying enough.
8. Not listening to my gut.

What hiring mistakes have you made?

Related post: The 360 Degree Assessment-an invaluable tool for leadership development

I posted a blog entry a couple of weeks ago (see it here) about my plan to use my iPad as a virtual whiteboard.

I used an app called Airsketch which allowed me to create a virtual whiteboard. It connects to a local wi-fi network which lets a computer become the whiteboard. Then the signal can be sent to video projectors used during services.

As I taught on spiritual warfare, I was able to underline, draw, and write words just as if I had used a white board. Here’s a picture of one of the screen shots. Everything in red I added while I taught. The icons at the bottom don’t show up on screen, but are available to you as the presenter.

I used this tool two weeks in a row. The first week I included my prompts on screen. The second week, I pared down what appeared on screen and used printed notes to the side to prompt me.

Overall, I got lots of positive comments, with one negative one. Here’s what I learned. Continue Reading…

I’ve been a pastor 30 years and only in the last few have I discovered the value of studying outside my church and home office. I’ll go either  to McDonalds (cheap food) or Panera (good atmosphere and the place I prefer). Both provide free Wi-Fi. I don’t recommend spending all your time away from the office, but I’ve found that doing so at least once a week benefits me and the ministry in these ways.

1. Productivity: Less interruptions from others.
2. Creativity: A different environment spurs it.
3. Focus: Less distractions help me concentrate better (like cleaning up our office or playing with something on our desks that can distract us in our offices).
4. Energy: A different ambiance/atmosphere gives me more.
5. Stress management: I feel less of it in a neutral environment.

One other suggestion. To block out noise, I use ear buds plugged into my iPhone and listen to nature sounds on the Ambiance app.

Have you discovered any other advantages of studying outside the office?

Related posts: The iPhone App that Improved my Concentration

Every pastor faces it.

Most hate it.

You can’t avoid it. … people leaving your church

In my over 20 years as a senior pastor (and a another 10 as an associate), for various reasons I’ve probably seen hundreds of people leave the churches where I served. In one year over 100 people left the church I planted after I gave my infamous “Willow Creek” talk. I had just attended one of Willow’s early conference and within two weeks I delivered a message about all the changes we planned to make. It didn’t work. In my immaturity I had failed to wisely manage change.

Except for those blessed subtractions (those who leave who have hurt your church), unless you are an emotionless robot, when someone leaves it hurts.

Here’s how I’ve tried to process my painful emotions when people leave.

1. I don’t disparage them to others after they leave.
2. I reach out to those who had significant roles in the church. Often I will meet with them.
3. I NEVER burn bridges. I wish them well and pray for them in person if possible.
4. I don’t try to hide their leaving from other leaders, and neither do I broadcast it.
5. Recently we’ve attempted informal exit interviews to discover why leavers left and if there’s anything we can learn.
6. When I see them again, I reach out and show genuine interest in how they’re doing.
7. I don’t let myself become bitter. God has graciously given me short memories about hurtful church experiences. It’s all His grace.
8. I remind myself that Jesus also faced those who left Him. From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. (John 6.66)

How do you process church leavers?

Related posts: When Pastors become Defensive…5 Things NOT to Do.

I’ve posted a few blogs about my journey using the iPad to preach (see related posts below).

Thus far I’ve loved using it. I own the original iPad and I’m waiting to upgrade until next year’s version releases.

Here’s my current sermon prep and delivery process.

1. Write sermons on a Word doc on my Airbook.
2. Convert doc to a PDF.
3. Drop PDF into Dropbox on my Mac.
4. Open Dropbox on my iPad.
5. Open the PDF in Noterize.
6. Mark up my PDF.
7. Enthrall millions with my eloquent preaching (oops, Freudian slip there…I meant preach to a few hundred)

Here’s a snapshot of what one page looked look from last week’s talk on spiritual gifts.

This week I’m trying something new. Continue Reading…

One well-worn adage reads, “The two things you can’t avoid in life are death and taxes.”

I’d like to suggest one more, for those in ministry.

The two things pastors can’t avoid are…

people late to the service and…

critics.

Having served in full-time ministry for 30 years, I’ve experienced my share of critics. I’ve responded well to some and not-so-well to others. When I’ve sensed a good heart from the critic, I tend to respond with more grace.

As Abe Lincoln said, “He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”

Here are 10 ways I’ve learned to respond to my critics (actually 9, I’d love to hear your 10th).

1. Give them your ear, but within reason. Don’t allow someone to destroy you with caustic criticism.
2. Let your body language communicate that you are truly trying to understand.
3. Avoid an immediate retort such as “Yea but,” or “You’re wrong,” or some other defensive response.
4. Breath this silent prayer, “Lord, give me grace to respond and not react.”
5. Before responding take a few moments to check what you’re about to say. Abe used to suggest counting to 100 when you get angry. That may a bit of overkill, but he is on to something.
6. Look for the proverbial ‘grain of truth’ in the criticism.
7. If you see more than a grain of truth and you can’t process it alone, seek feedback from the safe person in your life. (see my blog post on What to Look for in a Safe Person).
8. Ask God to keep you approachable to your critics (within reason). You probably don’t want to vacation with them.
9. Learn from your critics on how best to deliver criticism to others. When someone delivers criticism that you received well, ask yourself what about how they did it made it easer to receive. For those who botched it, remember to avoid their tactics.
10. …… tell me how you’ve responded to your critics. I’d love for you to give me a 10th.

Related posts.: How to Deal with Criticism. In this article I suggest a simple acrostic in responding to critics…LEARN