I’m half-way through an incredible book called Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Dr. Brene Brown. I highly recommend it. Her TED talk on this subject has garnered almost 10,000,000 views. She strikes a chord for leaders about risking vulnerability. 

As a pastor vulnerability is scary, carries risks, and we must practice care with whom we get deeply vulnerable. Check out my post here on what to look for in safe people. 

As risky as it is, Dr. Brown says it’s a key to what she calls wholehearted living, what I’d called a Spirit-filled life. She says we live in a culture of scarcity and poses 14 questions in her book (p. 27) in three categories that caused me to reflect deeply about my family, my ministry, and my world.

 I’ve quoted and paraphrased them here.

As you read them, what is God saying to you about your family, your life, and your ministry?

SHAME

• Do I use the threat of belittling or ridicule to keep people in line?
• Is my self worth tied to achievement, productivity, or compliance?
• Are blaming and finger pointing norms?
• Are put-downs and name-calling rampant?
• Am I guilty of favoritism?
• Am I a perfectionist?

COMPARISON

• Do I constantly compare and rank myself or others?
• Has my creativity been suffocated?
• Are people in my family or church held to one narrow standard rather than acknowledged for their unique gifts and contributions?
• Is there an ideal way of being or one form of talent that is used to measure everyone else’s worth?

DISENGAGEMENT

• Are people afraid to take risks or try new things?
• Is it easier to stay quiet than share stories, experiences, and ideas?
• Does it feel as if no one is really paying attention or listening?
• Is everyone struggling to be seen and heard?

As you read these, what question really resonated with you? What question would you add to this list?

___

“I just read 14 penetrating questions that made me evaluate my life and ministry.”  (click to tweet this quote)

Related posts:

• A Counter-intuitive Way to Manage Ministry Pain 

Discouragement comes with the territory for ministry leaders. Unmet goals, putting out fires, staff issues, displeasing people, and general tiredness all contribute to discouragement. When it weighs us down, how can we dig out?

The life of the prophet Elijah gives us hope.

I Kings 18-19 tells the story of his amazing confrontation with the prophets of Baal. The people of Israel had gathered on Mount Carmel along with 450 prophets of Asherah. They set up a sacrifice and the 450 pagan prophets summoned their gods to provide rain. Nothing happened. Then Elijah summoned the one, true God who showed His power by not only consuming the sacrifice but also ending the drought.

You’d think that after God showed up in such a powerful way, twice, that Elijah would be on a spiritual and emotional high. Not so. After these great victories, he ran for his life, thinking he was the only true prophet left.  He literally wanted to die. But God did not leave him alone. I Kings 19 explains how he cared for him.

Three lessons stand out about how we can defeat leadership discouragement.

• First, prepare for an emotional dip after spiritual success. I’ve found that discouragement often follows a spiritual high. Among other reasons, it’s the body’s response to stress. Mondays are often the most discouraging days for pastors after an intense Sunday. Prepare for this inevitability.
• Second, physically rejuvenate. After Elijah wanted to die, God provided food for him through an angel and had him take two long naps. After a spiritual high, take care of your body to give it time to re-energize. Extra sleep, healthy food, exercise, and doing something fun can help you recover.
• Third, still your soul to hear God’s gentle voice. After Elijah fled, God spoke to him in a “whisper.” Often Satan will attack us most after spiritual victories with condemning and tempting thoughts. When he does, turn your heart to the Lord and listen to His quiet, yet encouraging voice.

What has helped you defeat discouragement?

Related posts:

• 6 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor 
• When Ministry Knocks You Down, How to Get Back Up 

I recently attended a two-day retreat with Keith Meyer sponsored by the Cornerstone Pastor’s Network. Keith is a pastor and author of several books on soul care including one honored in 2010 as one of the five best books for the leader’s inner life, Whole Like Transformation: Becoming the Change Your Church Needs.

Keith challenged us with several great practices to take care of our soul. Here are the top five that grabbed my attention the most.

• Our longing for Him must supersede our love for His ministry. So often our passion for Christ gets buried in our passion for our church or ministry. When that happens we stifle that vital connection to the Vine, our true source of joy and strength.

• We must slow down enough to go God’s speed. And what is God’s speed? The speed of love and relationships. This one really struck me. Too often in my drive to accomplish my daily goals, I move so fast that I breeze by the relational connections that Jesus most wants me make.

• When we pay attention to God throughout the day, we’re most open to divinely arranged interruptions. One way we can become more sensitive to Him is to ‘pray our day’ and ‘pray our events.’ That is, use your calendar items and task list as cues to pray for your meeting, lunch appointment, study time, or whatever you have planned for the day. When we do this everything becomes a cue to go to Him.

• Memorize long transformative passages like Colossians 3, John 15, and Romans 12. Sometimes we memorize single Scripture verses and use them simply as ‘pills’ to treat our daily problems. Longer passages, however, can best transform our thinking.

• Grace is not opposed to effort but to earning. This one originally came form Dallas Willard, USC philosophy professor and writer of some of the best books on spiritual formation. One of my favorites he wrote is Renovation of the Heart, a must-read for every pastor.

• The acronym VIM captures the non-negotiables for spiritual transformation. ‘V’ stands for vision. ‘I’ stands for intention. ‘M’ stands for means. Again, Dallas Willard was the first to suggest this process. Here’s a great article that unpacks VIM. 

What practices have most helped you care for your soul?

Related Posts:

• How to break the power of hurry part 1
• How to break the power of hurry part 2

Ministry demands never seem to end. There’s always one more person to serve and reach.

If you’re a pastor or work in a church in any capacity, our days often don’t end at 5 pm. Meetings and emergencies can take us into the late hours. Even if nothing specific demands our attention, in our off hours our minds often ruminate about the church.

Unfortunately, this causes many pastors to be sleep deprived. In fact 1/3 of all Americans are sleep deprived. I imagine pastors exceed that percentage.

Take this quiz and discover if you’re sleep deprived. Mentally check below the statements that apply to you.

• After I get up I feel tired most of the day.
• I often hit the snooze button in the morning.
• I wake up a lot at night.
• I often feel mentally sluggish during the day.
• On weekends and vacations I sleep a lot longer than I normally do to “catch up.”
• I tend to load up on caffeine through coffee, energy drinks, or sodas to "keep me going."
• Within a couple of hours before I go to bed I exercise or spend a lot of time in front of my computer monitor or my iPad.

If you checked at least three, there’s a good chance you’re not getting enough sleep.

And when you don’t, your brain doesn’t work at its peak...you increase the stress hormone cortisol in your body which damages it...and you’re more likely to react and be less self controlled when under stress.

Sleep deprivation does NOT help us become more productive pastors, even though we may think that extra hour of work that we get each day from sleeping an hour less helps. This Harvard Business Review article paints a compelling tie between decreased job performance and sleep deprivation.

So why is it such a problem for pastors? I have a few hunches.

• Perhaps we’ve over emphasized productivity. What pastor hasn’t read or memorized Proverbs 6.10. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest —  11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. (NIV)
• Perhaps we’ve too often compared ourselves with uber-successful pastors or famous leaders and have heard how they got by on little sleep.
• Perhaps we’ve gotten used to being sleep deprived and don’t know what it’s like to get adequate sleep.

What can we do about it?

1. If you are sleep deprived, admit it. Admitting a problem is the first step toward victory.
2. Realize that sleep and rest is biblical. We see this in the creation account and God’s establishing Sabbath rest as a principle. We see this in Jesus telling His disciples to pull away from ministry and rest (Matt. 6.31). And we see Jesus sleeping, even in a storm (Matt 4.38).
3. Re-adjust your schedule to get more sleep. Get an accountability partner to hold you accountable. It may not be easy.
4. Go to bed earlier. This is a very effective way to regain that sleep.
5. Ask your leadership to limit evening meetings.
6. Give yourself some grace if you are in a season with a new baby. Most babies don’t respect your need for sleep. Give it time and this will pass.

What has helped you get adequate sleep?

Related posts:

• Are energy drinks good for the busy pastor? 
• Pastor, slow thyself down. 

For over 25 years I’ve preached our church’s Easter sermon, usually in multiple services. This year I have the privilege of just attending Easter services as I’m now working as a church consultant in my ministry and completing a second book I've written in the past 12 months.   

I remember the excitement that always led up to Easter. The month prior our staff would often log extra hours to plan Easter egg hunts, prepare for extra services, create invitation fliers, and spruce up the building.

Yet, I also recall the post-Easter lull, both in attendance and in my emotions. Easter usually produced the highest attendance for the year. Although we’d always plan a cool follow-up sermon series hoping that visitors would return, most didn’t. The attendance the week following was about average, or even lower if that Sunday fell during spring break week.

Not only did attendance lag, but my emotions did as well. The high attendance would always rev up my adrenalin, but what comes up must come down. After the high wore off, I’d sometimes be in a funk for a few days. If you experience the post-Easter lull, consider some of these suggestions that might help you weather it better.

1. Normalize: Expect that you will probably feel somewhat down for a few days. It’s normal after an emotional high. By bringing your expectations more in line with what you experience, you avoid dumping another emotional weight on top (the one that says you should not be feeling down).
2. Expectations: Set staff and leadership expectations for the week that follows. Remind them to prepare for a potential downer. Although I’ve heard miracle stories about churches that had humongous attendance the Sunday after Easter, I wonder if many of those stories have become simple folklore. If you’ve discovered the secret of how to motivate the once-a-year-attender to disrupt his Sunday routine two weeks in a row to come back to your church, please share your secret with us.
3. Soul and Body Care: Take an extra day off and do something totally refreshing and fun. Get more sleep. Take a nap each day. Eat right and exercise more.
4. Faith: Trust God that He will do His work if you do yours. Diligently prepare for Easter, pray for God to work, and pray for those who attend. Then leave the results to Him. He will bring back those who should return and He will help you emotionally recover. Remember, although the world remembers Jesus’ resurrection once a year, our churches should celebrate his resurrection each week and we should celebrate it each moment.

If you’ve experienced the post-Easter lull, what has helped you through it?

Related Posts:

• Does increased attendance at Easter and Christmas increase conversions? 
• The litmus test for successful ministry: always up and to the right? 

Loneliness is a deep ache in our soul and it doesn’t necessarily imply that we are physically alone. Some of the loneliest people in the world are surrounded by people. Even so, their deep ache of loneliness persists.

Loneliness can make us feel…

• isolated
• sad
• exhausted
• unmotivated
• unloved
• even useless.

Pastors are no exception. Although our “job” is people and we’re around them all the time, we can be some of the loneliest people in the church. I once read that the man with the fewest male friends in the church is often the senior pastor.

So what can we do when loneliness overwhelms our soul? I don’t offer a neat prescription, but I’ve learned a few things that that have helped me.

1. Admit it. When you feel lonely, tell somebody. First tell yourself. Then tell the Lord. And when appropriate, tell somebody else. Neuroscientists have discovered that admitting our negative emotions (labeling them) can actually lessen the strength of those emotions.
2. Guard against ruminating over it. It’s natural to feel lonely sometimes. But if we mull over it for long periods of time the Enemy can turn it into depression, self-loathing, and self-pity. Rumination over negative experiences more deeply activates the emotional centers of our brains exacerbating the emotion and causing us to lose objectivity.
3. However, the Lord may want to teach you something. Ask Him what lesson He wants you to learn through your loneliness.
4. Read uplifting Scriptures and listen to uplifting music.
5. Go and do something productive. Serve someone that won’t benefit your ministry. Smile at everyone you meet. Compliment the cashier at the grocery store. Take your son or daughter on a date. Invite someone in the church to lunch with you. When we do something productive the neurotransmitter dopamine increases in our brain and dopamine increases motivation and improves mood.
6. Don't do anything dumb. If you are married be careful about close relationships with someone of the opposite sex. Sharing your pain with someone of the opposite sex can lessen your inhibitions and unintentionally draw you into sexual activity that you will regret.

What has helped you move through loneliness?

Related posts:

• Why Pastors Lack Close Friends  
• What to Look for in a Safe Friend 

We’ve all gotten emails that either…

• wasted our time
• took us off task
• or stirred up our emotions because someone just dumped on us.

Email is both a blessing and a curse. One study discovered that we waste over eight hours a week from the distraction caused by emails [1]. Yikes! If you’re a busy pastor, ministry leader, or business professional, we can probably help each other by incorporating these e-mail etiquette pointers.

1. Keep emails brief and to the point. Put the key message you want to convey right up front.
2. Limit emails to one main subject. Try not to mix several subjects into one email.
3. Don’t ‘Cc’ everybody. If you need to copy your email to another, make sure it goes only to the person who needs to get it, not to everybody that may have received the initial email.
4. Don’t email messages that are emotional. If you need to communicate something emotional, criticize someone, or give negative feedback, pick up the phone and speak to the person. Or better yet, talk to them face-to-face. It’s easy to take an emotional email the wrong way.
5. DON’T USE ALL CAPS. IT SOUND LIKE YOU ARE YELLING!
6. Avoid the power play game by copying the email recipient’s boss. Sometimes it’s appropriate to copy the boss for information purposes. But if you’re trying to coerce the recipient by leveraging the boss’s influence, that’s not fair.
7. Include your contact info in your signature.
8. Re-read your email before you press “send.”

Any email tips you’ve discovered that make emails more useful?

Related posts:

• How much time should a pastor spend preparing a sermon 
• Productivity: Multi-Tasking Doesn’t Work 

In my last blog post I suggested that the cure to our noisy, frenzied, busy world lies in practicing silence and solitude. I shared some great quotes and key Scriptures that relate to these spiritual disciplines. You can read Part 1 here. In Part 2 today, I suggest reasons why we should practice silence and solitude and some ways to begin to build that practice into your life.

In essence, silence and solitude are tools God uses to restore our souls by breaking engagements with the world. This discipline is really more of a state of heart than a place. Granted, it does include away-ness from others, but as you mature you can actually be in a huge crowd and experience the rejuvenating power of solitude. It can create the ability to carry around with you your own portable sanctuary, sacred place, place of rest, connection to God even in a loud, distracting world. On the other hand you can become a hermit and never experience the power of solitude. 

Before I give you my suggestions, read this funny story.

A monk newly initiated into his order was told that he'd have to spend the initial 20 years of training in complete silence. He was told that he would only be allowed to say two words every three years. After 3 years of studiously keeping this vow he was summoned before the Abbot and asked if he had anything to say, in two words or less. He replied, "Food bad." Three more years went by when he was again summoned before the Abbot. "Well, do you have anything to say now," the monk was asked. "Bed hard," was the answer. After three more years the Abbot found our friend and asked him if he'd like to speak. "I quit!" said the monk. "Well, I'm not surprised," said his Abbot. "You've done nothing but complain since you arrived.” (source unknown)

Now, the practical benefits of practicing silence and solitude and tips for building it into your life.

Practical benefits of practiing silence and solitude

1. It breaks the power of hurry.

It breaks the adrenalin addiction, the ”have to do” mentality of life. Willard explains it this way.  The person who is capable of doing nothing might be capable of refraining from doing the wrong thing.  And then perhaps he or she would be better able to do the right thing.[1]

2.  It brings spiritual renewal.

Francis de Sales said (1500’s), “There is no clock, no matter how good it may be, that doesn’t need resetting and rewinding twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. In addition, at least once a year it must be taken apart to remove the dirt clogging it, straighten out bent parts, and repair those worn out. In like manner, every morning and evening a man who really takes care of he heart must rewind it for God’s service . . . . Moreover, he must often reflect on his condition in order to reform and improve it. Finally, at least once a year he must take it apart and examine every piece in detail, that is every affection and passion, in order to repair whatever defects there may be.[2]

3.  It reminds us that life will still go on without us

It interrupts the cycle of constantly having to manage things and be in control. It breaks us from a sense of being indispensable.

4.  It clears the storm of life and mind for wise decision making and planning.

Jesus illustrates this in Luke 6:12-13 before he chose his disciples. "And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God. And when day came, He called His disciples to Him; and chose twelve of them, whom He also named as apostles."

5.  It creates inner space to hear the voice of God.

After Elijah’s power encounter on Mt Carmel with the Baal worshippers he fled because he heard that Queen Jezebel had a price on his head. He hid in a cave and whined to God. God told him to step outside the cave and cover his face because he was about to speak to him. A storm and wind and earthquake and fire appeared, but God was not in any of those. Rather, God spoke in a whisper. 1Kings 19.2…And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

6.  It helps us disconnect from the world and deeply connect to our soul.

Henry Nouwen said, “In solitude, I get rid of my scaffolding.” Scaffolding is the stuff we use to keep ourselves propped up, friends, family, TV, radio, books, job, technology, work, achievement, our bank account, etc.[3]

7. It helps us control our tongue

If frees us from the tyranny we hold over others with our words. When we are silent, it is much more difficult to manipulate and control the people and circumstances around us. Words are the weapons we lay down when we practice silence. We give up our insistence of being heard and obeyed.

8. It helps us with the other disciplines

It enhances the other disciplines.

---

Practical tips to incorporate silence and solitude into your life.

1. Plan for it.

2. Find a quiet place.

3. Be considerate of those who will be affected.

4. Zip it

James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

5.  Expect some apprehension.

Our busy world often hinders us from looking within, so don’t quit if deep things in your soul begin to surface

6.  Length?

Walk before run.

7. Realize that this discipline comes more easily to some.

I recommend a great book to understand your particular spiritual pathway. It’s a book called Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas. 

What do you find most difficult about silence and solitude?

Related posts:

• Is this the #1 reason pastors succeed? Take this quiz and find out. 
• What this busy pastor learned from a homeless woman. 

We live in a world that bombards us with incessant visual stimuli and noise. It’s easy to become addicted to that noise without realizing it. We often turn the radio on in the car when we drive. We leave the TV on, even though we aren’t watching it. And our cell phones are seldom silenced.

Not only do we live in a noisy world, but we live in a busy one as well. Our time saving devices (cell phones, computers, faster internet connections) relentlessly remind us that we should get more done in less time so that we have more time to get even more done. As a result we are addicted not only to noise, but to hurry. John Ortberg says that, “Hurry is not just a disordered schedule. Hurry is a disordered heart.”[1]

He writes about an article that appeared in a newspaper in Tacoma, Washington, a few years ago about Tattoo the basset hound.

Tattoo didn't intend to go for an evening run, but when his owner shut his leash in the car door and took off for a drive with Tattoo still outside the vehicle, he had no choice.

Motorcycle officer Terry Filbert noticed a passing vehicle with something dragging behind it, "the basset hound picking them up and putting them down as fast as he could." He chased the car to a stop, and Tattoo was rescued, but not before the dog had reached a speed of 20-25 miles per hour, rolling over several times.

He then observes that often we live like Tattoo, “our days mark by picking them up and putting them down as fast as we can.”

Hurry, noise, and incessant busyness are enemies of a healthy spiritual life. I can attest to that in my life. It easily sneaks up on you. But God does not want us to conform to a superficial lifestyle marked by incessant noise and busyness. The Apostle Paul wrote these familiar words.

Rom. 12.2 (NIV) Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I believe the cure for this malady lies in two related spiritual disciplines: silence and solitude. In this blog I quote some famous people who wrote about these disciplines and list some key Bible verses on the subject. I hope this blog will stir your thoughts about building this practice into your life.

In my next blog I will list ways that silence and solitude can help us become better leaders and Christians and I suggest a simple plan that can help incorporate silence and solitude into your life, if you've not yet done so.

But first, some simple definitions.

Solitude: The practice of temporarily being absent from other people (in isolation or anonymity) and other things so that you can be present with God.

Silence: The practice of voluntarily and temporarily abstaining from speaking so that certain spiritual goals might be sought.

Powerful quotes on silence and solitude:

Henri Nowen: “Without (silence and solittude) it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life.”[2] "It is a good discipline to wonder in each new situation if people wouldn't be better served by our silence than by our words."? (The Way of the Heart)

Dallas Willard: “… this one (silence and solitude) is generally the most fundamental in the beginning of the spiritual life, and it must be returned to again and again as that life develops.”[3]

Pascal: “I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they are unable to stay quietly in their own room.”[4]

Austin Phelps (a pastor in the1800s): “It has been said that no great work in literature or in science was ever wrought by a man who did not love solitude. We may lay it down as an elemental principle of religion, that no large growth in holiness was ever gained by one who did not take time to be often long alone with God.”[5]

 Significant Scriptures on silence and solitude:

Eccl. 3:7  there is. . . a time to be silent ...

Eccl. 5: 2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.

Psa. 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God...

Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 

Luke 5:16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Mark 6:31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

How has silence and solitude helped you become a better leader?

Related posts:

• Brokenness in a Pastor’s Life: Blessing or Curse? 
• A Great Devo/Journaling App for Busy Pastors 

A new year offers us leaders a great opportunity to evaluate the prior one and plan what we hope to accomplish in the new one. Each January I complete three exercises that help me prepare for the coming year.

1. I re-read my journal to look for trends that I want to continue or weaknesses I want to address.
2. I evaluate to what degree I accomplished my goals.
3. I re-set my overall goals and objectives.

These are relatively straightforward tasks that many leaders already do. Yet, I think that to best prepare for a new year we should go deeper. Take an hour this week and honestly ask yourself these three questions. I recall reading them somewhere else, yet I don’t have the source.

• What are my leadership skills that are my strengths? In other words, God has given you a broad set of leadership skills, competencies, and gifts. If you were to rank them, what would rise to the top of your list? Are you leveraging this strength in your leadership role? Do you continue to hone that ability?
• We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. (Rom 12.6, NIV)

• What is my one fatal flaw? That is, what about your personality or current behavior could do you in? Are you one step away from making a decision that could wreck your life, your ministry, or your family? Do you toy with something that beckons you to indulge, yet know that if you did, it would devastate you and many others?
• … But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master. (Gen 4.7, NLT)

• What one area of improvement will make the most difference in my leadership role? In other words, if you spent just 5 minutes a day or an hour of week developing that area, envision to what degree that improvement could help you accomplish your goals.
  • My friends, I don’t feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. (Phil 3.13, CEV)

2013 could be the greatest year of your life. But it won’t happen by itself. It will take proactivity, prayer, and persistence.

What has helped you prepare for the new year?

Related posts:

• 6 Tips to Keeping a New Year’s Resolution 
• 4 Questions Leaders should Ask Themselves to Avoid Burnout

Is it self-awareness or the lack thereof?

Bill George, Harvard Business School Professor and best selling author thinks so. When he did research for his book True North he interviewed 125 authentic leaders. These leaders revealed that self-awareness defined the essence of great leadership. You can read his article here.

Read the follow 10 questions and rate your self-awareness

1. Am I aware of my strengths and gifts?
2. Am I of where satan trips me up the most?
3. Am I aware of my internal mind chatter that drains me?
4. Am I aware of how I come across to others?
5. Am I aware of unhealthy relational patterns I bring from my family of origin?
6. Am I aware of how much God loves me, despite my faults?
7. Am I aware of how much God loves those who give me fits?
8. Am I aware of when circumstances are setting me up for a fall?
9. Am I aware of my deepest longings and dreams?
10. Am I aware of my blind spots?

Honestly answer all 10 questions.

Did any area of gross unawareness jump out at you?

If so, what should be your next step?

Serving as a pastor brings many joys as well as headaches and hurts. One of the biggest hurts comes when others disapprove of us. Neuroscientists have discovered that a disapproving look from a person actually hurts. A disapproving facial expression stirs up the flight-fight part of our brain and heightens anxiety, even more than an angry facial expression does. I’ve experienced those disapproving looks and have learned how to cope a bit better.

When the emotional part of our brain (the limbic system) takes over, we lose the ability to think clearly and lead well. When that happens, these behaviors surface.

• We react and act impulsively
• We assume the worst
• We get defensive
• We lose our creative ability to solve problems
• We grieve the Holy Spirit
• We lose perspective
• We can’t truly listen
• We can’t think as clearly

These kinds of behaviors show their ugly selves when the emotional brain takes over. Constant disapproval, especially from significant people in your church, can evoke these behaviors.

In a previous church several years ago, the most influential lay leader there was once my number one supporter. His words, body language, and facial expression would almost always encourage me. I could count on him to lift my spirits when I was down. However, something happened in our relationship and his demeanor took a 180-degree shift. He now became my greatest disapprover.

His view of me carried significant weight because he held a very high status in the church. When our paths crossed at church and I saw his disapproval, my anxiety level shot up. When I saw those disapproving looks, a brain dynamic kicked in in the flight-fight part of my brain that dampened my ability to think most clearly so I could preach at my best and compassionately relate to others on Sundays. Essentially, I stifled the Holy Spirit’s work in my life. Initially I was not consciously aware of this dynamic.

However, as I began to learn how my brain worked when I saw a disapproving expression, I started to make these choices that helped me cope with disapproval, especially his.

1. I consciously took notice when his physical presence evoked anxiety in me. Instead of stuffing the emotion, I named it. I would breath a prayer under my breath, “Lord, I feel anxious right now after I saw _________. Please help me cope with this tension in my heart.”
2. I sought out a coach/counselor to help me reappraise the situation quicker. Taking a different perspective helps calm the fight-flight part of our brain. Often we need an objective person to help us see the situation clearly.
3. When I would preach, I would look for approving faces instead of his. I purposefully did not lock eyes with him in a sermon because I knew the toll it might take on my focus while preaching.
4. I finally met with him for breakfast, shared my concerns, and asked him how I could regain his confidence. Essentially, his view of me as a leader had changed and I could not change it back. At least I cleared the air with him. However, through this experience the Lord helped me more consistently moderate the painful distraction I often felt when I saw his disapproval.

As painful as this experience was, it became a great learning experience. Now that I know what happens in my brain when I see disapproval in someone’s face, I’ve become quicker to more proactively moderate its negative effects.

How have you managed those who disapprove of you?

Related Posts:

• Rejection: how it affects leaders
• Are your critics really trying to get close to you?

Source: Burklund, L., Eisenberger, N.I. & Lieberman, M.D. The face of rejection: Rejection sensitivity moderates dorsal anterior cingulate activate to disapproving facial expressions. Social Neuroscience, 2, pp.238–253.

Being a pastor is a high calling, yet pastors often face loneliness and discouragement. Surprisingly, some surveys reveal that up to 80% of pastors face regular discouragement in ministry. If that statistic even remotely reflects reality, then your pastor probably needs your encouragement. Yet, it seems so rare. The influential writer Henry Nouwen even wrote these insightful words.

… there is little praise and much criticism in the church today, and who can live for long in such a climate without slipping into some type of depression?^[1]

If your pastor needs encouragement, should you give it to him or should he just suck it up? If you do want to encourage him, what’s the best way to do it?

I’m convinced that we all need encouragement, even the strongest believer and most mature pastor. In fact, the Apostle Paul admitted he needed it and often referred to those who refreshed his and other people’s spirits, Philemon, Onesiphorus, and the Corinthian church. At times he even asked for it. A key character in the bible, Barnabas, was known as the son of encouragement.

Hebrews 13.17 speaks to this need and admonishes followers of Jesus to respond to their leaders in such a way as to make their work a joy. These translations bring out the meaning.

• So don’t make them sad as they do their work. Make them happy. (CEV)
• Let them do this with joy and not with grief … . (NASB)
• Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. (NLT)
• Let them do all this with joy and not with groaning. (ESV)

In the research I did for my last book, 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them, I surveyed hundreds of pastors and asked them how people in their church encouraged them. These were the top six responses.

1. You showed me tangible appreciation (such as small gifts like a gift card to a coffee shop).
2. You let me know that I spiritually impacted your life (such as sending an email to him about a recent message that helped you grow).
3. You prayed for me (such as sending a note telling your pastor that you prayed for him).
4. You accepted and understood me, cared for me, and were there when I needed you (such as communicating in a genuine way that you know how difficult it is being a pastor and that you truly care).
5. You supported my leadership, defended me, and trusted me (such as going out of your way to tell your pastor that you truly believe in him and trust him).
6. You ministered to my spouse and/or my family (such as remembering his or her kids’ birthdays).

The pastors who responded to this survey shared many touching stories and sad ones as well. One pastor even wrote that he wasn’t sure anybody in his church really cared about him. I hope your pastor doesn’t feel that way.

If you’re a pastor, would sharing this statistic with your church in an appropriate way open the door for the encouragement you desperately need in your life right now?

If you aren’t a pastor, what is God prompting you to do this week to encourage your pastor?

Related posts:

• When Ministry Knocks you Down, How to Get Back Up
• Defeating the Demons of Discouragement

Long before Red Bull was introduced to America in 1987 (and the plethora of energy drinks that followed,) caffeine had become the most widely used stimulant in the world. Over 90% of Americans drink coffee and slightly over half average three cups each day. Caffeine is now added to soft drinks, bottled water, gum, and even potato chips.

I don’t like coffee or tea and don’t drink them. And Red Bull and similar energy drinks give me the jitters. I’ve found, however, that 5-Hour Energy works well to boost my concentration. For the record, I don’t work for the makers of 5 Hour Energy. Also, when I study at Panera or McDonalds, I get a caffeinated diet drink that I refill often when I get tired.

Since we pastors are busy people, to what degree should we rely on legal stimulants to give us a mental edge?

As I researched this blog[1], I found these statistics about caffeine quite interesting.

• Brewed coffee has three times more caffeine than instant.
• Caffeine in a hot drink is absorbed more quickly than from a cold drink.
• 15-20 minutes after your drink a caffeinated drink, the caffeine reaches it’s highest peak in your blood stream.
• Caffeine increases the feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine, in our brain. About five minutes after I drink a 5-Hour Energy, I feel a nice motivation and optimism boost. Perhaps this comes from the high levels of B-vitamins more than from the caffeine.
• Neurologically, caffeine makes us more alert and focused.

On the other hand, scientists have discovered that over-use of caffeine causes some negative effects as well.

• It can impair long-term memory.
• It can increase anxiety, especially to anxious prone people. I call this the jitters.
• We can become addicted, especially if we use it more frequently when we feel stressed.

When I was in college, I would occasionally pull an all-nighter. Since I didn’t drink coffee, I’d use no-doze, a caffeine tablet, to keep me awake. Each time I did that I got serious jitters and stomach problems. And I usually got a cold as well, probably because I skipped a night’s sleep.

As a pastor, I’m careful not to become legalistic about what I put into my body, unless I know it will clearly harm it. But, especially with energy drinks becoming so popular, should we give some thought about how we use them?

As you consider your views on legal stimulants found in coffee and energy drinks, I’ve suggested a few thought provoking questions below.

1. Are you addicted to caffeine? Can you go a day or two without drinking several cups of coffee, a Red Bull, or a 5-Hour Energy?
2. Are you masking deep tiredness? By drinking an energy drink are you ignoring that your body may be telling you it’s exhausted and needs more rest and sleep?
3. Do you practice Sabbath keeping by taking a day off each week to rest, relax, and recover?
4. Have you considered taking a short nap each day to give you an energy boost? Michael Hyatt wrote a great blog on 5 Reasons You Should Take a Nap each Day. 
5. Can you use caffeine/energy drinks to God’s glory? That is, without being legalistic, does your consumption give you those occasional needed bursts of energy/focus so that you can minister more effectively? Or are you relying more on them than His power and good body care habits?
6. Are you using energy drinks as a replacement for sleep?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Related posts:

• Pastor, Slow Thyself Down
• Is Skipping Church Good for your Soul

Recently I scheduled a plumber to fix minor leaks in some toilets in our home as are preparing to sell our house. My wife was to meet the plumber in my absence and give him the instructions I had given her. At about ten minutes after the appointment time she called and told me that he had come and said the fixes were so simple I could do them. I asked her what he charged us to give us that sage advice. Her response? “$125.” I was not a happy camper.

When she told me that he had left without fixing the toilets and then charged us, my emotions took over. I was ticked off. Livid better describes how I felt. I couldn't even think straight. My wife immediately sensed the anger in my voice and assured me that she’d call him back and have him return to complete the repairs.

After we hung up, I felt bad that I had gotten so angry. I tried to regain my composure because I had scheduled a full day to complete a chapter for my next book. We pastors often want to figure out why bad things happen, so I began to ruminate over the situation, thinking that if I figured it out, I could calm my emotions.

Well, I am anything but a handyman. I can’t drive a nail straight much less fix something as convoluted as a toilet. I imagined myself spending an entire day trying to fix the leaks. I could see myself breaking something worse that would force sewerage back up into the house. And with all the sewerage, we’d never sell the house. And because we couldn’t sell the house, we go into foreclosure and lose the house. And when we lost the house we’d have to live in a van down by the river . . . . Well, maybe I didn’t imagine it that bad. But I did imagine me getting hyper-stressed trying to fix the toilet.

Then I recalled some neuroscience research from Ethan Kross’ on distancing and emotional control. He has discovered a simple technique that helps moderate our anger: take the perspective of a third party observing yourself in the situation that prompted the anger.

When I recalled that research, I now imagined myself physically stepping away from the car, where I got my wife’s call, and watching myself talking to her and getting angry. When I did that, immediately I thought, “How silly to get upset over a leaky toilet.” It was amazing what happened next. That simple mental exercise helped quickly lessen my anger. As a result, I was able to think clearly the rest of the day without any emotional “leaky toilet” intrusions. Kross likens that phenomenon to how a friend can help us calm down by giving us an objective perspective of an emotion causing event.

We pastors often face issues that can make us mad.The next time that happens to you, step back and observe yourself becoming angry. See if the Holy Spirit will give you a fresh perspective and clearer insight to moderate your anger and be a more composed leader.

What has helped moderate your anger in ministry?

Related posts.

• Lessons Learned from Angry Emails
• When Someone Screw up: Reprimand or Look for the Teachable Moment

One of the greatest strengths a leader can posses is his (or her) ability keep his emotions in check. However, when we feel rejected, hurt, or fearful, we often react, get visibly angry, or becoming defensive. Those responses can hinder God’s work in our lives and hurt our leadership. So what can we do?

Scripture consistently speaks against allowing anger (or any other negative emotion) to control us.

• “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,… (Eph. 4.26)
• Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (Eph. 4.31)
• But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. (Col. 3.8)
• My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1.19-20)

But, how do we control these feelings that sometimes spring upon us without our even thinking about them? Often when we feel angry or fearful, we believe that suppressing those feelings will reduce their power. On the contrary, it does the opposite. Neuroscientists have discovered that when we try to suppress an emotion it negatively affects us in two ways.

1. It diminishes our memory and the ability to see and remember details of an event.
2. Most importantly, suppressing the emotion actually does the opposite. Rather than helping us control it, it actually diminishes the internal resources available for us to respond to the situation in a biblical way. Scientists are now discovering what the Bible said long ago: So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. (Gal. 5.16)

The next time one of these emotions begins to control your thinking and behavior, consider apply the steps behind the acronym CART, a simple way to control an unhealthy expression of an emotion.

• “C” stands for change the situation. If you can appropriately change or avoid your situation so that you can avoid what could cause the emotion, do so. This is the easiest way to ‘nip it in the bud’ before it becomes full blown. Recently I became very angry about what someone did. I was not able to remove myself from the situation because the act was done at a distance. So, the issue was in my head rather than in physical close proximity. I had to move to the next step.
• “A” stands for attend to a distraction. If some event prompts one of these emotions, distract yourself. Look for something else to think about or focus on. In the above situation my anger was rising to a boiling point. I then tried to distract myself by listening to an mp3 talk on neuroleadership which somewhat moderated the emotion. However, I kept tuning out the talk and tuning into my internal self-talk that kept the emotion active. I then applied the next step.
• “R” stands for reappraise the situation. After I realized that my mp3 distraction could not consistently lessen my emotion, I sat back in my chair, closed my eyes, and for a few moments thought about what I was thinking about. This is called mindfulness. I then intentionally began to look at the situation differently. I reminded myself that my love for this person should trump my anger toward her. I told myself that my anger would not change her, much less facilitate a reasonable conversation with her about her actions. As I began to mentally prioritize my relationship with her over her action, the emotion’s intensity began to complete this process of regulating this emotion.
• “T” stands for temper my visible response. At first I tried to suppress my emotion, which only increased it (as I mentioned above). However, after I admitted my anger and reappraised the situation (R), the Lord helped me avoid a potentially unhealthy and damaging reaction toward this person.

So, the next time an emotion begins to get the best of you, toss it into a CART.

What has worked for you to control your emotions in a healthy way?

Related posts:

• 5 Animals Pastors Sometimes Act Like
• 9 Signs your Hormones May be Hijacking Your Leadership

I’ve been a committed Christian for over 40 years.

I’ve served in vocational ministry for over 30 years.

I’ve earned a master of divinity and a doctor of ministry.

I’ve preached over 1,000 sermons.

I’ve memorized hundreds of Scriptures.

I practice spiritual disciplines such as prayer, solitude, and fasting on a regular basis.

You’d think that with that spiritual pedigree, I should always experience God’s peace or at least when I lack it, should immediately regain it through prayer, quoting scripture, etc.

Not so in my experience.

One of my all time favorite scriptures is Philippians 4:6-7.

Phil. 4.6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

That verse, as do many others, implies that when we feel anxious and lack peace we if we turn to the Lord, cast our anxiety on him, pray, and yield our wills to His, then emotional peace should readily follow.

When I’ve done these things, sometimes I have regained His peace. At other times I haven’t. Not only have these experiences perplexed me, but when I faced difficult times with our oldest daughter’s rebellion and chronic illness with our youngest daughter, no matter how hard I prayed and quoted scripture, peace would sometimes elude me.

When peace didn’t come, an accusing voice inside me would add to my misery by suggesting that something must be wrong with me.

• Maybe I didn’t have enough faith (so I would try to muster more of it).
• Perhaps unconfessed sin was in the way (so I’d confess any unknown sins that I may have somehow missed).
• Possibly I didn’t pray correctly (so I’d reframe my prayers).

Mostly these techniques failed. So I soldiered on, figuring something was still wrong with me.

My neatly packed theology hit a brick wall. It was like when Neo in the movie The Matrix said, "Something was just not right, something was missing, something was lacking, something bothering me like a splinter in your mind."

My spiritual coping strategies fell short. I don’t mean to imply that we reduce Christianity to pragmatism. We love and obey God simply because He is God and is worthy of our worship and allegiance. Even so, I finally allowed my honest questions to bubble to the surface. Why, if I did the right things, did peace not come?

Then . . . I began to understand how our brain works.

I began reading about the brain and enrolled in a master’s program in neuroleadership (click on What is a neuroleader" here to see a cool animation about neuroleadership). I began to understand that our brain is not simply like a computer, but also like a pharmacy. It’s constantly releasing chemicals into our blood that profoundly affects emotions like peace, anger, fear, and anxiety.

I’m learning that I can be right with God in all respects, and yet not feel emotional peace in the current circumstance. What a relief to learn that lack of peace does not necessarily mean I’m messed up.

As a result of these new insights, I plan to begin blogging extensively on how we can use this incredible gift from God, our brain, for healthy living and productive leadership. I hope you will follow my blogs on this subject. You can follow them here.

Have you ever struggled with this issue? How are you dealing with it?

Related posts: 

1. Your Brain's Leadershp X-factor
2. When Pastors Lead from their Lizard Brain

Barna Research discovered that 61% of pastors are lonely and have few close friends.

The loneliest people in churches are often pastors.

Why is this so?

Four key factors inhibit pastors from developing close friendships.

• lack of formative modeling: in our families of origin we're close to our parents and/or they never modeling for us how to create intimate relationships.

• some pastors develop a loner tendency-they'd rather be alone

• personality-some personalties can unintentionally push people away

• wounds from our past can compel us to put up walls with others

• fear of sharing our loneliness with others: often we think that if people knew we struggle, hurt, or have problems, it might lessen the respect they show us and therefore hinder our effectiveness

Number five can be very powerful. Certainly we shouldn’t publicly display all our dirty laundry, or we would diminish our influence. But actually I’ve found that when I appropriately share my struggles, most people endear themselves to me and respect me more.

I’ll never forget a story I heard Bill Hybels share in a conference. The specific details are hazy, but the impact on me remains. On one of his study breaks he told about a Sunday night visit to a small church. After the sermon, the pastor stood before his flock and in tears shared a heartbreak he had experienced from his son. He said he felt like a failure and wasn’t sure what to do. He then closed the service. Spontaneously the people rushed to the front and surrounded him, hugged him, and wept with him. Bill then used a term to describe the scene: “the circle of brokenness.” As he drew thousands of us into this story, with misty eyes I yearned to feel that same acceptance in my church. I believe every pastor does as well.

If fear of rejection, looking less like a pastor, or worry that you might diminish your influence keeps you from inviting safe people in, realize the danger in which we can put ourselves. Without safe people, ministry can overwhelm us. A psychologist friend explained that isolation often sets up pastors on a slippery slope toward sexual compromise. In our isolation, Satan will exploit our vulnerability. We can then begin to live secret sexual lives that may ultimately lead to ministry and/or marriage failure. Remember, sin grows easiest in the darkness.

What other factors have you seen that an create loneliness in pastors?

Related posts:

• What pastors should look for in safe people

• Pastors who Suffer from Relational Anorexia

Productivity for leaders demands wise time management. But will multi-tasking make us better time managers? This study says no.

A study done at the University of London found that constant emailing and text-messaging reduces mental capability by an average of ten points on an IQ test. It was five points for women, and fifteen points for men. This effect is similar to missing a night’s sleep. For men, it’s around three times more than the effect of smoking cannabis. While this fact might make an interesting dinner party topic, it’s really not that amusing that one of the most common “productivity tools” can make one as dumb as a stoner. (David Rock, Your Brain at Work, p. 36)

Many leaders, including me, have too often convinced themselves that multi-tasking leads to better time management. Actually, it doesn't. Researchers have shown that when we try to do two mental tasks at once, our cognitive capacity can drop from that of a Harvard MBA to that of an eight year old (Rock, p. 34).

Although we technically can do two tasks at once, it dramatically slows our mental processing. So, if you think you are saving time by multi-tasking, you really aren't. Neuroscientists call this dual-task interference. Because the high level thinking part of our brain (the pre-frontal cortex) works in a serial fashion, one item at a time, when we multi-task we clog up its processing speed and actually reduce our effectiveness.

Linda Stone, a former VP at Microsoft captured the essence in the term continuous partial attention. She describes it this way. "To pay continuous partial attention is to keep a top-level item in focus, and constantly scan the periphery in case something more important emerges." As a result, this "always on" mode puts our brains on constant alert, thus flooding them with too much stress hormone which slows processing.

So what can we do to moderate this tendency?

• Imbed repetitive tasks deep into our long term memory so we that we can actually do them without thinking. An example is driving. We don't really think about driving because we've done it long enough to make it a habit. Such habits don't require the executive functions of our brains. Rather, they are stored into the part of our brain that stores routine functions, the basal ganglia.

• Prioritize your tasks for the day. Every day take a few minutes to plan your day so that you do the most mentally taxing things first. This appointment with the executive center of our brains assures we do our best thinking for what demands it.

• Turn off notifications on your computer or mobile device. I thought in my iPad and iPhone all I had to do was to keep an app out of Notifications. I just realized that I have to go into settings and turn off notifications in each app. When I read, I hated getting the reminders at the top of the screen which interrupted my train of thought. I no longer get them.

• Determine when you will attend to those tasks that interrupted you. When I write or study, I turn off email. But every hour or so when I take a break, I will turn it on and quickly look at email and respond to those that I can in the moment. That way I can focus on that which requires my mental energy and check off those less demanding tasks at those scheduled times .

How do you handle the multi-tasking monster?

Related posts:

• Your Brain's Leadership X-factor

• When Pastors Lead from their Lizard Brain

This is a brief excerpt about brokenness in a pastor's life and ministry from my latest book, 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them.

__

Circumstances beyond a pastor's control (demographics or a location that hinders growth), an uncooperative board (they say no to an important initiative), or even family issues (a chronically ill child who requires an inordinate amount of energy) can hinder and dilute our ministry efforts. In other words, we seldom immediately see the benefit from brokenness.

Brokenness has touched my life in the two places where it hurts the most: my family (one chronically sick child, one who rebelled for five years) and my ministry (many dreams yet unfulfilled). But Jesus said brokenness must precede fruit bearing.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.[1]

As the nineteenth-century Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard said, “God creates everything out of nothing—and everything God is to use he first reduces to nothing.”[2]

Richard Foster, one of today’s most influential voices on spiritual formation, described one of the greatest benefits from brokenness. He calls this the “crucifixion of the will” and says it brings “freedom from the everlasting burden of always having to get our own way.”[3] Having to always get our own way is the antithesis of the other-centered life Jesus modeled for us.

How has brokenness benefited your life?

Related post:

• When Ministry Knocks You Down, How to Get Back Up

A brief excerpt from my latest book, 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them.

Thomas Kelly, a twentieth-century Quaker, died the day a company discussed publishing his essays. Fortunately a friend followed through and those essays were compiled into A Testament of Devotion. Kelly succinctly captures why we need to heed Jesus’ offer: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”[1]

We live our lives in “an intolerable scramble of panting feverishness.”[2] This easily can overtake us with the demands ministry brings. With sermons to prepare, plans to develop, people to disciple, and seemingly not enough time, I sometimes have to tell myself out loud, “Slow down.” When I’m caught up in a frenetic pace, ministry frustrations often loom larger than they really are.

Related posts:

• 5 Really Bad Ways Pastors Respond when People Compare them to Successful Churches
• When Pastors don't Measure up to Other's Expectations

Ministry burnout, overload, and destructive stress lead to an abysmal survival rate for pastors today.  For 20 years a friend of mine followed 105 pastors and discovered that only half remained in ministry. Many other statistics bear witness to the high fallout rate for pastors. Burnout, moral collapse, and the weight of ministry has shattered many dreams for Kingdom impact.

No pastor ever begins ministry with a goal to end up as a casualty of it. Unfortunately, unless many make systemic changes to their hearts and ministry pace, they too will end up a statistic. But, if you feel yourself on the road to burnout you can change your trajectory through this simple yet life-transforming exercise.

As I begin my new role from serving as a senior pastor to serving other pastors through coaching them and consulting their churches, I've used a tool that many coaches use to help people regain balance. It's called a "Life Balance Wheel."

It had its origins in the Middle Ages when few could read. Etched on many cathedrals, it visually represented the cycle of daily life: happiness, loss, suffering, and hope. For most people life offered little hope and the carved images instructed the common person about the inevitable change process in life.

Today we use the life balance wheel in a more positive way. It takes many forms, but this example captures its essence.

Each piece of the pie represents an area of life. Within that area the scale rates your satisfaction with that part of your life.

Here's how to use it to help regain balance and deal with life's pressures in a more intentional way.

1. Google "Wheel of  Life" and you'll find many free printable templates.
2. After you print it out, circle your level of satisfaction within in each area of your life.
3. Connect the dots to see how balanced or imbalanced you have described your life.
4. Pick one or two areas in which you feel least satisfied.
5. Describe what life would look like if your satisfaction in those areas increased to an "8"
6. List five specific steps you could take in each area that could help you move to an "8"
7. Give each step a specific date when you will take the step.
8. Make yourself accountable to someone to help you regain balance. A good coach trained in the life balance wheel would be a good investment.

This simple tool could have profound implications for your future, your family, and your ministry. Right now schedule an hour this week to complete the exercise and see how God could use it in your life.

In my most recent book 5 Minister Killers and How to Defeat Them I deal with this issue extensively. You can read a free chapter here.

If you've used the life balance wheel before, what have you found helpful?

___

Related post:

• Making the Most of the Next 10 Years: a simple self-evaluation